Of Love and Therapy Couches
“You bitch! Have fun being nothing in life.” He yelled this at me, before he slammed the door behind him.
All this, because a guy flirted with me at Denny’s. All this, because I smiled back at him. All this, because what? He’s protective over me? Envious? It’s bullshit.
Sighing, I made a decision that might backfire, that might help me, that will change everything.
000
“Call me. “ He called for the second time in one hour. “I need you.”
You say that, but if I come back, you’ll do the same shit all over again.
You say that, and you will still hurt me.
Calm down. Calm down. Calm Down.
000
“Tell me about your relationship with Char. “Dr. Maynes asked me.
“He was perfect. At least, he was…I don’t know what happened. It’s like one day, he was taking a photograph of me in Central Park, and next he was yelling at me and calling me a bitch. “I sighed.
“What are you going to do?” She asked me.
“Leave him, of course. I’m too good for this. I think, maybe I was a bit of a masochist for him. Why else would I take it for almost half a year? I thought, oh he will change; oh most of the time he’s not like that. He’s just having a bad day. I reasoned to myself, that he loves me. But, love, it shouldn’t hurt. It’s supposed to make you better…and he’s making me sick. I can’t take it. Why should I? We’re not married; we don’t have attachments, like children. What is keeping me here? Oh, right. Love. I’m not some stupid girl that is going to ignore logic for the heart. He hurts me, I leave. At least, that’s what I’m doing now.
That’s what I have to do…for me. “I let out a breath. “That’s not selfish, is it?”
“No, it’s not. “ Dr. Maynes told me simply.
“I’m leaving him. I left him. I took all my stuff, and left. Wow. Saying it aloud makes it just more real. “I smiled sadly. “Two years…and I’m done. “
My therapist nodded.
“Life, like love, is funny in a way. You get hurt, and sometimes you think it’s easier to stay down. You dread someone offering a hand, but secretly you wish for it, more than anything in the world. And, then, just a little thing- inconsequential really, happens and you get back up. “
*fin*
